Adoption.

 (4 posts in one day! Crazy!!!)

So first off...I have hardly posted on my adoption blog. So lets just pretend it does not exist anymore :)

Second...I thought I would do a little update about some adoption thoughts and our process right now. 

I love adoption. Emily was meant to be in our family...and we love her so much. I think the only reason I remember she is adopted is because of her birth parents. I love them and think about them a lot. Sometimes I look at Emily and see if she looks like either of them. But she is ours...and we just had to adopt her to get her :) We have been bonding with her via her birth mom since we found out about her. And we have been literally and figuratively dreaming about her for years. Close friends and family have heard about Emily long before we ever started the adoption process. She is our Emily.

Now back in Texas all my friends knew we were adopting. So I wondered what it would be like moving and no one knowing. I started getting comments on the plane ride here that I didn't look like I had a baby. (Thanks?) But it was awkward. I love adoption and want to be a positive example of it. But I did not want to focus on it. I knew some people at church knew. My first Sunday there was right after we got here. My mom watched Emily while we went to church. I hate being new and introducing myself. I found myself having a mini freak ok. I said something like "I am Ashley Walch and my husband and I just moved from Texas. We also have a little 2 1/2 week at home with my mom". After people said...wow...you are super woman for having a baby and moving here. Or So you had her in Texas then flew here???

I wrote David a frantic note in Sunday School. saying something like-

"Ahh...this is hard. I don't want to come out and say she is adopted. It is hard when people say things about "having" her and giving birth. I just go along with it for now...but when they find out are they going to feel stupid? Am I lying? It is so awkward when people say stuff about the way I look and having a baby". Ahhh.

But slowly we have shared our story. And it is fine. And I think a lot of people still don't know. But I think only while she is a tiny baby we will it be more common knowledge at church. Not as she gets older. I mean...she will know she is adopted. But I do not want to focus on it AT ALL. I want her to know that she has wonderful birth parents. And maybe on her birthday every year we will tell the story of how she came to our family. And you know...things will be different when we have/adopt more kids. Our family dynamic will change. But when people find out they love it...and want to know everything. It is a good thing. I am confusing. I guess I am trying to say it is a hard balance. But never have I felt that anyone thought she was "less" ours or anything. I don't think any of my family or friends love her any different. If anything they love her more :) j/k

As far as the process. We will be finalizing in Massachusetts. So we have to do 6 visits with our case worker. We have done 2 so far. She just asked about her progress and us bonding with her, etc. We also had to get an attorney to start working on the finalization. She is technically LDS Family Services baby. At six months after all our visits and paperwork is ready, we will be able to go to court and have her officially be ours! Then we can give her a blessing at church...and most exciting...take her to the Temple to be sealed to us for Eternity. This should all happen in August sometime. Adoption has been such a blessing in our life.

Our new family: